Please Forgive Me
by H-Mira
Summary: Hitsugaya told himself to prepare for the worst for when Hinamori finally woke up after the battle at Karakura town. He prepared himself for tears, for anger... Anything that he could think of. But he never could have imagined that she would act like this... Hitsuhina
1. Prologue

**I don't know about you, but I really hate the fact that we never got to see how Hinamori reacted to seeing Hitsugaya again after he stabbed her during the battle at Karakura Town. So I thought to myself "Well, If Kubo won't tell us, I'll just have to make up something myself then!"**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Prologue:

It was nearing the end of Hanataro's night shift and he was exhausted. It had been a _long_ shift. Due to a squad eleven training session gone wrong, he had been swamped with work. For the last several hours, he had been running back and forth from room to room to make sure everyone's needs were being met. By the time midnight came around, he felt like he could just collapse on the spot.

Fortunately, he only had one more short set of rounds to do before he could call it a night. It was simple, really, all he had to do was walk along the permanent patients corridor to make sure everything was still going smoothly. Since all of the patients were generally either comatose or asleep by this hour, it was a pretty relaxing way to end his hectic day.

Being as tired as he was, he almost didn't notice that there was a light coming from the inside of one the patient rooms. Curious, he quietly made his way towards the end of the corridor where the room was located.

As he got closer to the room, he tried to recall who was staying in this room. However, he couldn't remember who it was for the life of him. There were so many patients who stayed in squad four, which made this person just one among many. So once he was finally standing just outside of the room, curiosity got the better of him and he peaked his head inside to see what was going on.

Inside, he made out the figure of the tenth division captain standing next to whoever lay comatose on the bed beside him. He watched the captain as he rose his hand and lightly brushed aside some stray hairs from the patient's face. When Hanataro lifted his gaze to see the tenth division captain's face, he was shocked.

Hitsugaya Toshiro, one of the Seireitei's coldest and harshest captains, had a gentle smile on his face. Yet, that smile didn't make him seem happy at all. In fact, from Hanataro's perspective, it looked like he was about to cry. The squad four officer faintly heard the captain whisper something to whoever lay beside him, but Hanataro failed to make out whatever it was since he was too far away.

Just as he was about to fuller enter the room, someone grabbed Hanataro from behind while covering his mouth with their hand. Panicking, Hanataro flailed his arms about miserably until he finally caught sight of the one who grabbed him.

"You really shouldn't be spying on others, Hanataro-san" the fourth division captain whispered in his ear as he calmed down. "It's quite rude to secretly watch someone who thinks they're alone".

Being unable to speak due to the hand covering his mouth, Hanataro simply nodded. Satisfied that her subordinate understood his mistake, Unohana released him and started to make her way down the hall towards her other patients.

Just as he was about to follow his superior down the hall, he heard the tenth division captain say something once again. This time, however, Hanataro was clearly able to hear what he said. Blushing at how personal it was, the fourth division officer quickly ran away down the corridor before Hitsugaya could notice he was even there. But there was really no point in that, since all the tenth division captain knew and cared about at the moment was his childhood friend who lay comatose beside him.

"Please," Hitsugaya repeated as he watched Hinamori's sleeping face. "Please come back to me."


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Every night. He had visited her every night since the battle had ended. He never got the chance to see her during the day since he had dedicated that time to training. He desperately needed to get faster, stronger, _better_ …. For her. He had been unable to protect her from Aizen and he would never be able to forgive himself for that, for his _weakness_.

Hitsugaya didn't mind visiting her at night, though. It was always quiet... peaceful even. Plus, he never had to worry about running into anyone else when he visited. He hated the looks he would get whenever someone would see him on his way to visit her. They always had such a sad look in their eyes whenever they would look at him…. As though they pitied _him_ , were sad for _his_ sake, not _hers._ A part of him wanted to yelled at them whenever he saw them, telling that what happened was _his_ fault and that it was _his_ weakness that did this to her. He shouldn't have let this happen to her…

Some of them even had the audacity to call _him_ a victim while shaming Hinamori for her previous actions. Apparently, they thought that the fact that _he_ , someone who stabbed his best friend through the chest and nearly killed her, was a victim, while _she_ , someone who had confront her friend about allegations made against him from her superior, was _wrong_. The first time he heard someone say that, it took all he had not to let his spiritual pressure run out of control. Even now, just thinking about that caused his blood to boil…

Hitsugaya simply shook his head while trying to get those thoughts out of his head. What they said doesn't matter, in fact, _they_ don't even matter. At least, not now when he was finally on his way to see Hinamori after a long day of training.

He smiled at the thought of seeing her. Sure, she would still be asleep, but at least he would be able to see her peaceful, sleeping face. Although, while seeing her every evening was definitely the highlight of his day, it was also something he dreaded.

Whenever he would see her lying there attached to a life support machine, his heart would feel like it was being ripped apart. While he knew that the only reason he stabbed her was because he was under Aizen's hypnosis, he still blamed himself just as much as he blamed Aizen. He just couldn't shake the thought that he could have prevented the situation if only he had been stronger…

He shook his head once again. There was no point in thinking in "what ifs" when the pass was already written. All he could do now is live with what he had done.

As he made his way down the hallways of the fourth division, he didn't even need to think about which hallways to take or which ways to turn. He had been here so often over the last several months that he could probably make his way through the corridors of squad four in his sleep.

Just as he was about to turn down another corridor, he noticed one of the squad four officers watching him from one of the rooms. He noted that it was the same officer who had been watching him come and leave for the last few nights. Usually, people were scared of him and person was no exception. Until a few days ago, this officer had been just as scared of him as anyone else was. Yet, for some reason, that suddenly stopped and his frighten looks had turned into a watchful gaze. If Hitsugaya remembered correctly, the officer's name was Hanataro Yamada.

After shooting Hanataro a quick look and a nod, Hitsugaya continued on his way towards Hinamori's room. Just was he was about to enter her room, he hesitated. He always did this when he was about to enter her room. Yet, just like every other night, he made himself go in.

As he entered the room, he noticed that the flowers he had brought for her a few days ago were already starting to wilt. He made a mental note to replace them as he made his way to Hinamori's side.

Just like the last time he visited and the time before that, she remained peacefully asleep. Hitsugaya grabbed a chair and pulled it over so he could sit down next to her. As he sat down, the tenth division captain noticed that some drool had escaped her lips. Chuckling quietly to himself, he gently wiped the drool with a cloth. _Even while in a coma, you're still as messy as ever_ he thought as a smile escaped his lips.

He stayed there for what felt like hours, merely watching her as she slept. Once he noticed how much time had passed, he decided it was time for him to leave. "I'll back again tomorrow, Hinamori" he whispered in her ear before standing up.

The tenth division captain then made his way towards the door. Before exiting, he shot his childhood friend once last look. "Goodnight… Bed-wetter" he said and then left the room.

* * *

The next morning, just like any other morning, Hitsugaya sealed himself away in a cave as he trained. Yet, this wasn't like just any other morning. Mid-way through his training, a hell butterfly flew in with a message for him.

Half-annoyed at being interrupted yet still curious as to what the message may be, he stretched out his hand to give the hell butterfly easy access to it. Once it landed on his finger, the hell butterfly started to relay its message.

"Hitsugaya-taichou," it began as the butterfly fluttered its wings "This is a message from Unohana Retsu, captain of the fourth division, concerning the condition of Hinamori Momo, vice-captain of the fifth division. She has now woken up and-"

Hitsugaya didn't hear anything else. After hearing that Hinamori had woken up, he immediately flashed stepped out of the cave and towards the fourth division without giving the hell butterfly enough time to finish its message.

As he made his way through the fourth division and towards Hinamori's room, he noticed that a lot of officers from squad four were also making their running towards her room. Fearing the worst, he quickened his pace.

Once he stood outside the door and could see inside her room, Hitsugaya froze. There she was, in all her essence, smiling and laughing along with the captain and vice-captain of the fourth division. The fourth division officer who had been watching him for the last few days, Hanataro, was also there chatting along with them.

Still unable to move from his position, Hitsugaya remained silently in place while taking in the sight before him. _She's finally awake_ he thought as millions of emotions were going through him _And she's smiling… and laughing…_

After about a minute of him just standing in the doorway, Hanataro finally clued into the tenth division captain's presence. He then excitedly motioned to Hinamori to look towards the doorway, expecting to witness a heart-warming reunion between two childhood friends.

He was greatly mistaken.

As soon as she saw her childhood friend standing in the doorway, Hinamori's smile died on her face. She froze in place as she met his gaze, a blank expression on her face.

Not know how to interpret her reaction to seeing him, Hitsugaya merely continued to stare at her. He was too afraid of what might happen if he said anything, so he remained silent. After what felt like a small eternity, Hinamori finally broke the silence.

"I remember now…" she whispered, barely loud enough for the others to make out. She then brought her right hand up to her chest and lightly pressed it to the scar present there. "The reason why I'm in here… The reason…"

Suddenly, she reached for and grabbed the pair of scissors that Unohana had placed on the nightstand next to her just moments before. Realizing what she was about to do, the captain of the fourth division was able to grab Hinamori's arm before the vice-captain had the chance to plunge the scissors into her chest.

"Please!" Hinamori exclaimed desperately as she tried to break free of the captain's grip. "You don't understand! I wasn't supposed to survive! I was supposed to die!" The vice-captain then turned her head towards her childhood friend, who was horrified at what was taking place before him.

"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun!" she said as tears were starting to run down her face. "I'm sorry for coming back! I'm so sorry for whatever I did to make you want me dead! But I swear, I'll make this right!" Hinamori then made another desperate attempt to plunge the scissors into herself, only to have the fourth division vice-captain restrain her free arm.

"Quick!" Unohana urged as she was starting to lose her grip on the fifth division vice-captain. "Hanataro-san, grab the syringe!" Hanataro quickly did as he was told and handed his superior the syringe that lied on the desk next to me.

Meanwhile, Hinamori was still desperately trying to break free and end her own life. "I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun!" she yelled through tear stained eyes. "I'll so sorry! I'll make this right! I'll make this-" She was suddenly interrupted by the sensation of the syringe piercing her arm and the liquid inside of it being injected inside of her.

The fifth division vice-captain then started to feel herself lose consciousness. "I'm sorry… So sorry… Shiro-chan…" she managed before giving into the serum's effects. Unohana caught Hinamori as she fell and lied her gently back down on her bed before turning towards the tenth division captain.

"Hitsugaya-taichou, please try to-" she began, but Hitsugaya immediately flash stepped out of the room.

* * *

 **So tell me, what do you think so far? At first, I was just thinking of ending this story after this, but decided against it. That would just be too mean, huh?**

 **Anyway, please leave a review to tell me what you think!**

 **~ H-Mira**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Matsumoto was simply minding her own business in the tenth division office. Since her captain was now spending the majority of his days training, she had the place all to herself. Of course, without his constant nagging, she wasn't going to get any actual work. However, she still managed to convince herself that if any work needed to get done, her captain would be there doing it. So as long as he wasn't in his office, she allowed herself to do whatever she pleased.

 _It is pretty boring, though, being here all by myself all the time_ she thought as she was living on the couch reading a magazine. _I hope Taichou manages to break out of his rut soon. If he keeps up his nightly visits to squad four on top of his harsh training regimen during the day, he's going to wear himself out_.

Just as she was about to turn another page of her magazine, she noticed a hell butterfly come in through the window. As per protocol, she extended a hand for the butterfly to land on. The second it landed, it began to relay its message.

"Matsumoto Rangiku. This is a message from Unohana Retsu, captain of the fourth division, concerning the condition of Hinamori Momo, vice-captain of the fifth division" the hell butterfly stated. As the message told her of the events that had just recently taken place in the fourth division, Matsumoto's eyes widened in shock. As soon as the butterfly had completed its task, Matsumoto flash stepped out of the room.

* * *

 _Taichou…_ she thought as she made her way across the Seireitei. Luckily for her, she knew just the place to go looking for her young captain. It was the place he always went to whenever he needed to be alone and free the prying eyes of those within the Seireitei. It was such a peaceful and isolated place that it was pure luck that Matsumoto had even managed to find him there once before. She didn't know why her captain always went there whenever he wanted to be alone, but she figured it didn't really matter why he went there. All that mattered was that this place was where he always went and where she hoped he would currently be.

As the tenth division vice-captain made her way through the streets of the first district of Rokongai, Jurinan, she prayed that she was right in guessing her captain's current hiding place. If she wasn't, then all she could do was wait for him to come back. And Matsumoto hated waiting.

Fortunately for her, she managed to spot a head of familiar white hair sitting on top of the hill near the village. Matsumoto sighed in relief as she made her way up the hill to join her captain.

As she got closer and closer to the spot where her captain was sat down watching the town below, Hitsugaya never once showed any sign to acknowledge her presence. He merely continued to survey the town with the same distant look on his face.

Even once Matsumoto finally got to him, Hitsugaya still didn't looked her way. This caused the tenth division vice-captain to frown. On one hand, she didn't want to startle him. On the other, she didn't feel like waiting around until he finally noticed her.

So caught in her internal struggle about whether or not to say something, Matsumoto almost didn't notice when her captain finally acknowledged her presence and spoke. "I know you're there, Matsumoto." he stated simply as his eyes never left the town below him.

"Oh, Taichou! You startled me!" she exclaimed. Hitsugaya merely sighed in response. Considering the fact the _she_ had tried to sneak up on _him_ , it was almost half comical that she was the one who ended up getting startled.

Not knowing how to approach the topic of Hinamori's current condition, Matsumoto awkwardly stood next to her sitting captain. She was well aware of just how many emotions the mere mention of the girl could stir in her captain, so she knew that she had to approach the subject delicately. _I really should have figured this out while I was on my way here_ she thought as she desperately tried to think of a way to approach the subject before things got too awkward.

Noticing that something was clearly bugging his subordinate, Hitsugaya decided to break the silence. "What do you want, Matsumoto?" he asked bluntly, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"Oh, well, you see…" the tenth division vice-captain stammered in response. "I.. uh… heard from Unohana about… you know. I just wanted to see if you were alright, is all."

"I'm fine." he replied, his gaze hardening as he fixated on something in the distance. "The one who you should really be worried about right now is Hinamori."

"Don't get me wrong, Taichou" Matsumoto began as she took a seat down next to her captain. "I am worried about Hinamori. But she's currently in squad four under Unohana-Taichou's care, so I'm sure she'll be fine. The one I'm really worried about is _you_."

Since as her captain chose to not to say anything in response, Matsumoto decided to continue. "Look, I know it must be hard for you seeing her like this. I can't even imagine what's going through your head at the moment. But try to keep in mind that this is only _temporary_. After going through rehabilitation, I'm sure Hinamori will be back to her smiling and laughing self in no time!"

Hitsugaya abruptly stood up and, without a word, began to walk away. Confused, the tenth division vice-captain turned her head to see where he was going and saw him walk towards a particular tree that stood apart from the surrounding forest.

Once he stood in front of the tree, Hitsugaya's expression became unreadable as he place his hand on top of a carving that had been made into the tree years ago. After staring longingly at the carving for a minute or two, he finally spoke.

"Did you know that, as a child, Hinamori hated heights?" he asked as a sad smile began to make its way onto his face. "Every time the other kids in our neighbourhood would go climbing trees or exploring high place, she'd practically wet herself because she was so scared. Even if she wasn't the one doing to actual climbing, she'd still be pretty scared. Really, it's no wonder she always hated it whenever I'd lie on the roof as a kid…"

Matsumoto quietly stood up and began to make her way towards her captain. From where she was sitting, she couldn't see his face, which worried her. She didn't know why her captain felt the need to tell her this now, but she had a feeling she was about to find out.

Meanwhile, Hitsugaya picked up his tale from where he left off. "Yet, she loved this hill. She would often say how it gave the perfect view of the town below and how such a view just had to be appreciated. So, regardless of how much she hated heights, she'd always force herself to come up this hill. Of course, she'd always drag me up with her since she was too afraid to come up here on her own. But I didn't mind. Seeing her happy face as she looked out onto the town below made it worth the hike up…. Not that I ever told her that."

Hitsugaya dropped his hand as he sensed his vice-captain approaching him and turned to face her., "But that's all in the past now…" he said as he regained his icy armour. "Those days are long gone, so there's no point in wishing to return to them. All that can be done now is to live with what happened and to try and make peace with it." he then paused for a second before adding "Though I'm not sure if that's possible now…"

Before Matsumoto could muster a reply, Hitsugaya walked past her and began to make his way back to the Seireitei. As she was about to join him, she manage to catch sight of the carving he had been looking at earlier. In the middle of the tree, she could make a child's writing. She recognized the writing as Hinamori's and couldn't help but soften her expression when she read what was written.

"Shiro-chan and Momo, together forever…." she said aloud as she read the carving. In the corner of the original carving, Matsumoto could faintly make out a younger version of her captain's handwriting adjusting the message. He had tried to scratch out "Momo" and replace it with "Bed-wetter", so that the message now read _Shiro-chan and Bed-wetter, together forever_.

Noticing that she could no longer see Hitsugaya in the distance, Matsumoto quickly turned around and jogged towards her captain in the hopes of catching up to him before he got too far away.

* * *

 **There you have it, chapter 2! I'm going to keep trying to update this story regularly, so you guys aren't stuck on a cliffhanger for too long.**

 **As always, thanks for reviewing. It's always a nice boost to see that someone likes what I've written.**

 **~ H-Mira**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

It had been a _long_ two weeks. Ever since Hinamori first woke up, things had been pretty hectic over at the fourth division. Every time she would come too after being sedated, the captain of the fourth division would only be able to speak to her for a short period of time before the vice-captain would start to lose herself again in a sea of self-harm. In fact, Hinamori had even managed to cut her arms on a few occasions before the sedative had a chance to kick in. She had yet to succeed in causing any serious harm to herself, but she came pretty close on several occasions.

Yet, the fifth division vice-captain was slowly but surely making progress. Rather than trying to harm herself seconds after regaining consciousness, she would now be of sound mind for even a minute or two before returning to her self-harming ways. In fact, Unohana was rather pleased with the girl's progress. She even went as far as to say that Hinamori should be able to receive visitors again in another week or so.

That thought didn't exactly lift the gloomy mood surrounding the tenth division. Ever since the fifth division vice-captain had woken up, both the captain and the vice-captain of squad ten had been receiving daily reports on her condition. Every time a hell butterfly would enter the tenth division office, Matsumoto could see her captain stiffen in the corner of her eye. Now that he had stopped his intense training during the day, he no longer had anything to distract him from his thoughts. So whenever one of the messenger butterflies would enter his office, Hitsugaya both hoped and dreaded that it was from the fourth division.

Matsumoto hated seeing her captain in such a condition. She had tried to talk to him about Hinamori on several occasions since their talk on the hill, but he would either refuse to say anything in response or would simply leave the room. She really wanted to be there for him, but she just didn't know how. While she could relate to emotional pain, she couldn't relate to the specific type of pain and guilt her captain was currently feeling. All she could do now was helplessly watch as her captain was drowning in his own misery.

* * *

Once a third week had passed, the day had finally arrived. At the end of the daily report on Hinamori's condition, the captain of the fourth division announced that Hinamori was now well enough to receive visitors. While the captain still forbade any sharp or potentially dangerous objects from entering within the immediate vicinity of the girl, Unohana insisted that the vice-captain of the fifth division was in the mental state to be able to receive visitors and that interacting with friends could even help speed up her recovery process.

As soon as the hell butterfly left her finger, the vice-captain of the tenth division excitedly turned to her captain. "Isn't that great, Taichou? Hinamori can now receive visitors!" Matsumoto exclaimed as she clapped her hands together.

Hitsugaya gave no reply. He merely continued to stare at the paperwork in front of him.

Noticing that her captain was making no sign to reply, Matsumoto frowned. "You really should visit her, you know. I'm sure she wants to see you" she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Again, the young captain said nothing. However, the vice-captain did sense a slight spike in his spiritual pressure for a second before he got it under control once more.

Annoyed at her captain's stubborn attitude, Matsumoto abruptly stood up. "Fine, if you won't visit her, then I will!" she stated as she began to make her way towards the door.

Once she reached the door, she turned back to shoot a quick look at her captain. She was expecting him to yell at her and say that she should get back to work, yet he said nothing. In fact, he almost looked slightly _relieved_ that she was leaving. Assuming that he needed some time to himself to process this new information, Matsumoto left the room.

* * *

As the tenth division vice-captain made her way down the halls of squad four, she couldn't help but worry about her captain. She knew that he simply wasn't ready to face his childhood friend yet and that he needed some time, but she just couldn't stand the sight of her captain in his current state. For someone so young to place such a tough burden onto themselves…. Matsumoto felt that it just wasn't right. At the very least, she hoped Hinamori would be able comfort him once he finally gathered the courage to go see her.

Finally having arrived at her destination, Matsumoto poked her head in the room to see if Hinamori was awake.

She was.

The fifth division vice-captain was sitting up in her bed with her back against her pillow. Her hair flowed onto her shoulders and down her back as the young girl looked longingly out her window at the sky above. Suddenly, almost as though she sensed someone watching her, Hinamori turned her head around to face the doorway.

"Oh, Matsumoto-san. You're here." Hinamori exclaimed as she addressed her friend who was standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Hinamori. How are you?" the tenth division vice-captain asked as she began to make her way into the room. "You must be pretty bored stuck in here all day by yourself, huh? Well! There's no need to fear! Matsumoto Rangiku is here!"

Hinamori laughed in response. "You're a true hero, Matsumoto-san" she said as her friend took a seat in the chair next to her.

"Well, of course! They didn't make me the vice-captain of the tenth division for nothing!" the voluptuous vice-captain exclaimed as she laughed a bit to herself. "Besides, in takes a real hero to put up with my captain all the time!"

"Hitsugaya-kun can be a handful sometimes, huh?" the vice-captain replied as she lowered her gaze and a sad smile began to make its way onto her face. The younger girl then paused for a second before adding "So, how… is he?"

"Taichou? Well, he's…. Taichou. You know better than I do how he can get when something is heavily weighing on his mind." Matsumoto said as she studied the younger girl before her. Noticing the look on her friend's face, she added "You're worried about him, aren't you?"

Hinamori simply nodded, her gaze never leaving the ground in front of her. Ever since the situation had been properly explained to her, the fifth division vice-captain felt awful about what she made her childhood witness. It was ironic, really, that by trying to do what she thought he wanted, she ended up causing him an unbelievable amount of grief. She desperately wanted to make it up to him and return to how things were before, but she just didn't know if that was possible now.

Noticing that her friend was beginning to lose herself in her own thoughts, Matsumoto decided to pick up their conservation again. "You know, I'm sure he would come to see you if you asked him to. While he may be pretty stubborn and uncooperative whenever I tell him to come visit, I'm sure he'd come if you were the one asking him."

Hinamori finally lifted her gaze so that she could now look her visitor in the eye. "I have no right to ask him to come see me… Not after what I've done, what I've put him through..." she said as a tear began to make its way down her cheek.

"Hinamori…" Matsumoto whispered as she tried to comfort the crying girl in front of her. "You were confused. No one blames you for what you did. Not me, not Unohana-taichou, and especially not Taichou."

Hinamori merely continued to cry in response. Wrapping her arms around her crying friend, Matsumoto continued to speak. "He blames himself, you know, for what happened to you. He won't actually admit it, but I know he thinks it's his fault you're in here. No matter how many times we try to tell him it's not, he just won't listen."

"I-I know he does." Hinamori whispered in between sobs. After allowing herself a moment to regain her composure, she continued. " Blame himself, that is. That's just the type of person he is. It doesn't matter what you say to him, you'll never be able to convince him that it wasn't his fault..."

Matsumoto said nothing as her friend pulled away from her embrace so that she could properly face her. "Matsumoto-san, did you know that I never once blamed Hitsugaya-kun for what happened? Not even right after he stabbed me."

"Really? Why?" the tenth division vice-captain asked as she stared intently at her friend.

Hinamori smiled weakly. "Well, that's because I know he would never hurt me. No matter what I put him through in the past, he would always come back to me and insist on protecting me. I really never deserved to have someone like him as a friend... That's why, when I saw him look at me with such hateful eyes as he stabbed me, I knew that whatever I had done must have been unforgivable. For eyes that were once so loving and protective to turn so cold and hateful… I knew that I done something terrible, even if I had no idea what it was. That's also why, as he held me before I lost consciousness, all I asked him was _why?_ , not _how dare you_ or _how could you,_ but simply _why_. I just wanted to know what I had done to hurt him so much, so that I could apologize and try to make up for what I had done…"

Matsumoto remained silent for a moment as she tried to process this new information. "If that's how you feel," the tenth division vice-captain began as she tried to organize her thoughts "you should really talk to him. This is something he really needs to hear."

Hinamori sighed. "I guess you're right, Matsumoto-san. As always." she said as her gaze broke from Matsumoto's. "But, I can't face him. At least, not in the state that I'm in right now…"

Matsumoto said nothing as she looked down at Hinamori's arms. While her clothes covered the majority of her body, the vice-captain of the tenth division could still faintly make out harsh lines on Hinamori's otherwise perfect skin. _Those must be the cuts she made over the last few weeks_ she thought as she further examined them. _I don't blame you for wanting to spare Taichou the sight of those…_

"Well, there's no point in trying to force you to see him." Matsumoto exclaimed as she abruptly stood up. "But I'm going to keep visiting you until you finally agree to see him. So you better get use to my company!"

Hinamori laughed softly as she faced her friend once more. "Alright, sounds like a deal." she said before her friend made her way towards the door. Before Matsumoto exited the room, Hinamori quickly added "Oh, and Matsumoto-san! Could you… um…"

"I'll tell Taichou that you're doing just fine." the older shinigami said with a smile on her face. She then paused for a second before adding "Hmm, or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll tell him that you're miserable without him and that you need to look upon his handsome face to regain your will to live! Ah, such is the pain and beauty of young love!"

"Matsumoto-san! Please! Don't tell him that!" Hinamori desperately exclaimed at her now smirking friend.

"Bye, Bye, Hinamori!" the vice-captain of the tenth division replied as she ignored the pleas of her friend. "See you tomorrow!" she added before disappearing from sight.

 _I really hope she doesn't tell him that_ Hinamori thought as she buried her face in her hands. _If she does, I doubt I'll be able to face him even after my scars heal._


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Matsumoto was true to her word. Every day at about three in the afternoon, the vice-captain would suddenly stop whatever she was doing and head over to the fourth division to visit her friend. She would also make it a point to loudly announce where she was going in the hopes of enticing some sort of reaction out of her captain.

Yet, every time she would announce that she was on her way to visit Hinamori, Hitsugaya would say nothing. He would merely stare down intently at his paperwork as his vice-captain made her way out of the room.

"I'm telling you, Hinamori," Matsumoto said as she shook her head at the fifth division vice-captain. "He's like a wall of ice. No matter what I say, he just continues to stare down at his goddamn paperwork!"

"Hitsugaya-kun always did have a habit of keeping things to himself…" Hinamori whispered to herself as she gave her frustrated friend a sympathetic look.

Meanwhile, Matsumoto continued with her rant. "It's just not healthy to keep everything to yourself, you know? I don't care whether it's me or someone else, he just needs to talk to _somebody_! His silence is really starting to get on my nerves!" she yelled as she slammed her fist onto Hinamori's bedside table. The tenth division vice-captain then paused for a second before adding "Maybe it's time you finally see him…"

"Well, um, actually," Hinamori began as a weak smile formed on her face. "I already asked Unohana-taichou to tell him that I wanted to see him…"

"WHAT!?" Matsumoto exclaimed as she placed both of her hands on Hinamori's shoulders. "When did this happened!?"

"A few days ago." the shorter girl replied as her gaze broke from her friend's and drifted to the side. "Unohana-taichou told me that she already delivered the message to him, but he still hasn't come..."

"That's it! I've had it with his stubborn attitude!" Matsumoto exclaimed as she abruptly stood up and made her way towards the door.

"Wait! Matsumoto-san, there's really no need to be so-" Hinamori began, but the tenth division vice-captain flash stepped out of the room before she could finish.

* * *

Matsumoto slammed open the doors of the tenth division office as she made her way into the room. Hitsugaya merely shot her a quick look before returning his focus to his paperwork.

"Now you listen to me, Taichou!" she yelled as she walked passed the couches and headed towards her superior. "I don't know why you keep insisting on acting the way that you do, but this is the last straw!"

"What are you talking about, Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked as his vice-captain kept getting closer and closer to him.

"What am I talking about?!" she exclaimed as she stood directly in front of her captain's desk. "Hinamori! That's who I'm talking about!"

Matsumoto noticed that her captain flinched at the mention of his childhood friend. However, this only served to further anger her. "Hinamori! Hinamori! Hinamori!" she repeated as she grabbed the ends of her captain's clothes, bringing his face closer to hers as a result. "Get use to it, Taichou! You can't keep ignoring her forever!"

"Let go of me, Matsumoto" Hitsugaya growled as he glared at his vice-captain. The two of them silently glared at each other until the tenth division vice-captain broke the silence.

"Fine!" Matsumoto yelled as she released her captain. "But that doesn't mean you're off the hook! She's been asking to see you for days, _days!_ And you just keep ignoring her! Are you so caught up in your own self-pity that you think it's okay to ignore Hinamori's feelings!?"

"Shut up!" he yelled, finally breaking free from his icy armour as he abruptly stood up. "You have no idea what's going on, so just shut up!"

"Then _tell_ me, Taichou!" she replied as she glared at her superior. "Tell me what's so goddamn important that's stopping you from seeing her!"

"Well, for starters!" he yelled as he glared back at his vice-captain. "She tried to _kill herself_ last time she saw me, or did you forget that?! Not to mention that she kept saying she would continue trying until she succeeded because she thought that's what _I_ wanted!"

"That was weeks ago!" Matsumoto exclaimed as the argument kept getting more and more heated. "She's changed since then, Taichou! She's gotten _better_! Besides, I don't even see why that should stop you from seeing her again! It's not like she hates you or anything!"

"I would rather she hate me then trust me enough to want to take her own life!" Hitsugaya replied as the last of his anger fizzled out. "She trusted me enough to believe that killing herself was the right thing to do… How can I face her after betraying her trust in such a drastic way?" he continued as his gaze broke from Matsumoto's.

"Taichou…" the tenth division vice-captain whispered as she watched her captain's expression turn from anger to grief. "She doesn't blame you for what happened. She knows it wasn't your fault. In fact, she even told me that she never once blamed you for what you did, not even right after it happened!"

"And that's why I can't ever forgive myself!" he cried out as he turned his hands into fists. "Even though I hurt her… Almost killed her… She still believes in me. Do you know what that's like? Having the person you care about the most still believe in you despite betraying them in the worst possible way?" He then paused for a second before adding "I don't deserve to have someone like her by my side…"

Matsumoto remained silent for a moment as she looked at her captain. She then made her way around the desk and pulled him into a motherly hug. "You do deserve to have someone like her, Taichou" she whispered into his ear. "Everyone deserves to have someone who will continue to love them even in the times where they refuse to love themselves. In fact, I'd say they _especially_ deserve to have someone who will love them when they can't love themselves."

Matsumoto paused for a second before continuing. "And that applies to you too, Taichou. As someone who will sacrifice everything, including your own life, for those you care about, you deserve to have someone who will sacrifice everything for you in return. Sure, Hinamori's logic may not have been the best at the time, but the only reason why she believed in you to that extreme was because you've always believed in her. Everyone deserves to be believed in, Taichou, so don't you ever think you don't deserve to have someone like her by your side."

The two of them remained silent for a moment, not moving from their current position. Finally, Hitsugaya broke the silence. "Um, Matsumoto, do you think you could let me go now?" he asked as he tried to distance himself from his subordinate.

"Oh, right!" she exclaimed as she release her captain. After regaining their composure, Hitsugaya began to make his way towards the door.

"I'll be stepping out for a bit, Matsumoto" he stated as he reached the door. "I have somewhere I need to be."

Matsumoto smiled. "Of course, Taichou. Take as long as you need!" she replied right before he left the room. _It's about time_ she thought to herself.

* * *

 **Finally, the moment you've all been waiting: Hitsugaya will finally see Hinamori again! Well, next chapter, that is.**

 **I'm going to make sure I put some real thought into the ending, so you'll definitely have something to look forward to!**

 **Thanks as always for reading,**

 **~ H-Mira**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Hitsugaya quickly made his way down the halls of the fourth division. He noticed a couple of squad four officers shooting him looks as he made his way through their division. Some were surprised to see him in such a haste, others were annoyed at the disturbance his sudden presence was causing… but they didn't matter. All that mattered was his destination.

Once Hinamori's room was in sight, his pace quickened with anticipation. Now that he had finally made up his mind to go see her, all he could think about was her. He wanted to see her, _needed_ to see her. Nothing else but _her_ mattered.

Yet doubt once again entered his mind as he stood outside the doorway and just out of sight from whoever was within the room. What if he was _wrong_? What if she had changed her mind? What if, after thinking it over, she realized just how horrible he had been to her? What if-

Hitsugaya shook his head. He was done with letting those doubts control him. So he gathered all of the resolve inside of him and stepped into the room.

"Oh, Matsumoto-san? Is that you-" Hinamori began with a bright smile on her face, but she suddenly stopped once her gaze was locked with her childhood friend's. "Hitsugaya-kun…" she muttered as she stared intently at the tenth division captain.

Seeing the smile fade from her face, Hitsugaya felt the sudden urge to run away. _I was wrong_ he thought to himself as he stood frozen in place _She didn't actually want to see me. She probably never wanted to see me again. Unohana and Matsumoto must have been lying when they said that she did. God, I'm such an idiot._ He then gave in to his urge to run and turned back around towards the door.

"Wait! Hitsugaya-kun! Please" Hinamori urged as she saw that her friend was about to leave her alone once again. "I was just surprised to see you! I really am happy you're here! Please stay!" She then paused for a second before quietly adding "Please, don't leave…"

The urgency in her voice snapped Hitsugaya back to his senses. He slowly turned around to face her once more.

Seeing that her friend had decided to stay after all, Hinamori's face brightened. "Please, have a seat, Hitsugaya-kun" she said as she motioned at the chair next to her bed.

The captain of the tenth division slowly made his way towards Hinamori and took a seat next to her. Now that they were right next to each other, he began to examine her appearance. _She looks a lot better_ he thought as his eyes flickered from her face to the rest of her _But then again, that's just on the outside…_

Noticing that her friend was examining her condition, Hinamori immediately made an attempt to hide her arms and wrists. The cuts she had made there had long since healed, but the marks left behind had yet to disappear. _I really hope he didn't see them_ she thought as she raised her gaze once more to her childhood friend.

However, he had seen them. As faint as they were, Hitsugaya noticed them all the same. He knew exactly what they were the second he saw them. Hitsugaya grimaced as his gaze broke once again from Hinamori's. _I'm to blame for those_ he thought as his gaze intensified on Hinamori's right arm. _If it weren't for me, she never would have made those…_

Registering the pained expression on his face, the fifth division vice-captain knew that he had seen them. _You're as observant as ever, Hitsugaya-kun_ she thought as a sad smile made its way onto her face. Hoping to distract him from the thoughts currently going through his head, Hinamori broke the silence.

"So, Hitsugaya-kun" she began as Hitsugaya lifted his gaze to face her once more. She then fumbled for a moment, not too sure what to talk to him about. There was so much she knew she wanted to say to him, yet she just couldn't remember it all now that he was standing before her. So, in a desperately attempt to not seem like a complete idiot, she said "Um, how was your day?"

The captain was taken aback by how mundane her question was. After all this time apart and after everything that happened, the first question she thought to ask was _how his day was_ , as though that could possibly be the most pressing question on her mind. He knew that there must have been a thousand questions that she wanted to ask him, yet she chose to go with _that one_ first. Hitsugaya felt like he could either laugh or cry at her choice of question. After some thought, he went with the former option and began quietly laugh to himself.

Noticing that her friend started to laugh in response to her question, Hinamori frowned. _Not that I mind seeing him laugh, but what's so funny?_ she thought as with a confused expression on her face.

Hitsugaya registered the confusion on his friend's face. However, he just couldn't stop himself from laughing. _She must think I'm crazy_ he thought as his laughter got louder. With every laugh that escaped his mouth, he felt the tension and guilt that had built up over the last month start to disappear. All his worries concerning his childhood friend were now being lifted. _Even after everything's that happened, you still find a way to make all my worries disappear_ he thought to his childhood friend.

After about 30 seconds or so, Hitsugaya finally regained his composure enough to speak. "My day's been alright" he said as turned to face his childhood friend again. "How was _your_ day?" he asked as a smirk made its way onto his face.

Now that the question was directed at her, Hinamori realized why her friend had been laughing so hard. It was just so ridiculous. Things had been so tense between the two of them ever since she first woke up, yet she blurted out such simple everyday question as though nothing had ever happened. After coming to this realization, Hinamori started to laugh herself. Despite it being a less-than-appropriate response, it was still managed to eradicate the tension between them. For that, she was forever thankful.

"Mine was good" she happily replied with a smile. "Better now that you're finally here." she added as an afterthought.

"Hinamori…" Hitsugaya said as remorseful expression started to cover his face. That comment had brought him back to the reality that he had been avoiding her since their encounter after she first woke up. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come see you. I was just so caught up in my own thoughts and guilt…. I put my own feelings before your own. I should have come to see you the second you asked me to, but I was a coward. I was so ashamed at what I had done and put you through… I just couldn't bring myself to face you after that. And knowing that you would give me the forgiveness I didn't think I deserved preventing me from seeing you."

"Hitsugaya-kun…" Hinamori whispered as she watched her remorseful friend. Not knowing what she could possibly say to him in his current state, she remained silent.

Meanwhile, Hitsugaya continued. "Matsumoto was telling me before I came here that everyone deserves someone who will love and forgive them even in the times when they can't love or forgive themselves. For the longest time, I didn't think that applied to me, but…" Hitsugaya expression then softened into a gentle smile as he looked onto his childhood friend's face. "But, I now know that if I continued believed that, I would be denying and ignoring your feelings once again. And I think I've done that long enough."

The fifth division vice-captain blushed in response. She tried to turn her face to the side in the hopes of hiding her embarrassment, but Hitsugaya cupped her cheek in his hand and made her face him.

"Hinamori," he said as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm sorry for everything I put you through. For making you doubt yourself and hurt yourself. You didn't deserve any of it and I would do anything to undo what was done to you. But, I can't. The past is gone and can't be changed. All I can do now is ask for forgiveness in the hopes that you'll find it in your heart to forgive it to me. So please, please forgive me for all that I've done to you."

Tears were now starting to form in Hinamori's eyes. "Of course!" she exclaimed as the tears were now falling down her face. "Not matter what, I would always forgive you, Hitsugaya-kun! And all that I could ever ask in return is that you forgive me! For everything that I've put _you_ through… If I had done that to anyone else, they would have left me. But… You stayed. No matter what happened or how bad it got, you would always be right there by my side."

Hinamori paused for a moment as regained her composure. She then placed her hand gently onto the hand that was cupping her cheek as she closed her eyes. "You've always been there for me, Shiro-chan." she stated as she reopened her eyes and gazed lovingly into Hitsugaya's. "Even when I was too lost to know it, you were always there looking out for me. Yet, I took that granted…" she then lowered her gaze off to the side before continuing "When I believed in Aizen-tai, no, when I believed in _Aizen_ over you, I took your kindness for granted. You were just trying to do what was right, yet I asked something so horrible of you… I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun, for all that I put you through. Would you please forgive me for what I've done?"

"Hmm, I'll have to think about it." Hitsugaya replied as he withdrew his hand from her cheek and place it onto his chin as he thought to himself. Hinamori sat there dumbfounded as she stared at her childhood. Seeing her expression, a slight smirk escaped Hitsugaya's lips.

"Like you even have to ask, Bed-wetter" the tenth division captain stated as he ruffled Hinamori's hair with his hand. "You should know by now that I would forgive you no matter what. Don't tell me I have to constantly remind you of something so _obvious_?"

"S-Shut up!" the fifth division vice-captain stammered as she pouted at her childhood friend. "I had to remind _you_ that I would forgive you no matter what, so you're no better than me!"

Hitsugaya chuckled to himself as he removed his hand from Hinamori's head. "I guess you're right" he replied as a gentle smile formed on his face. "Looks like we're one and the same, huh?"

"Of course!" Hinamori exclaimed happily as a smile returned to her face. "Remember that carving we made on that tree years ago? The one that said _Shiro-chan and Bed-wetter, together forever_?"

Hitsugaya nodded in response to the fond memory.

Satisfied that her friend remembered, she continued. "Well, that was a promise. And promises must be kept! So you're stuck with me, Hitsugaya-kun." Hinamori said as she smiled brightly at her friend.

He chuckled in response. "I've had worse company" he replied to his smiling friend. He then stood up. "Well, I think I've left Matsumoto alone long enough. If I don't go back now, the paperwork won't get done."

"Alright…" the fifth division vice-captain sadly whispered to herself as she watched her friend walk away.

Hitsugaya then abruptly stopped once he reached the doorway. "Oh yeah, I forgot something" he stated as he suddenly turned around and made his way back to Hinamori. Once he reached her, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"W-What are you doing, Hitsugaya-kun?" she stammered in response to his actions as a deep shade of red dominated her face.

Noticing how red his friend had gotten, Hitsugaya smirked. "I told you I was done ignoring your feelings, didn't I?" was all he said in response as he once again made his way towards the room's exit.

Before leaving her alone with her thoughts, Hitsugaya shot her one last look. "See you tomorrow, Bed-wetter Momo" he said.

Hinamori tried to manage a response but failed miserably. Satisfied that his childhood friend wasn't going to give a reply, the captain of the tenth division left the room.

 _I'm definitely going to get him back for that_ she thought to herself as she pouted. But it didn't take long for that pout to turn into a gentle smile.

"See you tomorrow, Shiro-chan." she whispered to herself as her newfound smile dominated her face.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Well there you have it! The final chapter of _Please Forgive Me._**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

 **Please leave a review to tell me what you thought of the story! I've really enjoyed the reviews so far. You're all so kind and supportive! Honestly, it's because of all the reviews and likes I've gotten that I've had the motivation to update this story so quickly. You guys are the best!**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading.**

 **~ H-Mira**


End file.
